On going "Home"

Like many people who've moved away from where they grew up, I feel like I have two homes. One where I live and one where my family lives. Whether it's age, wealth or just that I was sick, I found I didn't fit any better with family than I do with the wider culture where I live. I've been home a couple days and feeling a lot better. I think I took a day to get all the cold and travel medicine out of my system.

One thing I noticed was, even though it's pretty cold out, our neighbours are out. I don't know if it's because a lot of people around are shift and or retired but I've caught up with lots of people, including someone I hadn't seem all last year! Maybe with the snow it's more important to be out clearing walks and stuff.

It's really interesting to hang out with my brother because he's bringing up two boys - most of our friends have at least one girl, if not two. I am used to hearing girls get told to not be taken advantage of and boys being told not to take advantage of others. It seems by brother is emphasizing to his boys not be taken advantage of but no mention of not taking advantage of others; which is ... interesting. Is it having boys that makes him more fearful of them being taken advantage of? My cousin who also has two boys goes route I'm more used to which I got the impression was a waste of time to my brother because it's a waste of time. I think he's vaguely dissatisfied with decisions he has to make (aren't we all - adulting kind of sucks).

Aside from more Teslas and recycle sorting I didn't see a lot of energy conservation efforts in existing homes. My dad doesn't have LED lights, even though I think they would help him see better and they have their thermostat set to HOT. There's no water metering out there so no concern about water use. My brother bought a 1 bdrm w/den apartment that we went to see. It was very energy efficient and had a lot of amenities. I don't think I could live there with Fred and Bennie.

My dad? Frustrated and frustrating as old men are. His doctor wants him to walk more, he wants a scooter because he wants to go faster and not have to pause🙄. He complains he can't walk then when I leave him somewhere and come back he's gone so clearly he just needs some practice. He's also more helpless when his wife is home. He's definitely less able than he was when I stayed a couple years ago but still doing ok.

Maybe it's because we've decided to base out of here but I guess this is where I fit best. I look around and see people dressed like me. I've found winter activities that work for me and retirement is settling into an acceptable routine.