I would not be able to bring myself to assume someone else's debt. Even spousal unit after over 30 years together.
We blend all money then pull allowances for unbudgeted personal fun money (aka Sephora). That worked for us because we both came to the relationship with no assets and student loans. Most people would probably just put money for household expenses in a joint pot and keep paycheques going into their own accounts? Anyway, I know of 2 out of 2 women who left their spouses and were held hostage by joint debt that he would keep adding too (and the woman couldn't afford to pay off.) I'm sure the reverse happens as well. Best not to get into that situation in the first place.
http://www.moneysense.ca/save/debt/merging-family-debt-mortgage-risk/
we've been in an odd space where we came together with her having more no debt ... i had assets but student debt. We'd decided to manage our individual finances and just split up the bills accordingly. I took on car payments, she did groceries, etc... as we've continued on and i've made more I take on more of the financial responsibility, but our incomes are still silo'd.
ReplyDeleteNow, it turns out that she had debt, and we rolled with it. Just paid it off together so we could get back to the norm.
We have 'our' money and 'our own' money. Everything we have is joint, because at the end of the day the financial failings of one affect the other. Maybe that comes from many years of being the sole income, before my wife could work in Canada.
ReplyDeleteWe both have our own separate bank accounts though, and our 'extra' money goes into those. Whether that's from our other jobs, or bonuses or selling old stuff ... whatever. We're in it together.
But we both have our own credit too. She has credit cards, I have some too. We did that by design so that there would never come a day when one of us would find ourselves alone with no credit rating ... whether by divorce or death. How many widows have suddenly found out all their lifetime of credit was really their spouses? Sad situation, that one.
We have my account which is also the household account, and Rochelle has her own account for the odd thing (we call it her "mad money"), but most things we buy just come out of the household account. We discuss every purchase, but that's it. She even gets my input regarding spending her "mad money". We have no debt, except for the mortgage. When I buy my Tesla Model 3 (just waiting on AWD), it will most likely be cash.
ReplyDeleteBut I would totally not hesitate at all to assume her debt if she were to have any.
So to be clear - I would be in favour of designating more money to go towards his debt, just not put the debt in my name.
ReplyDeleteThat's just me though - everyone has to have a financial system that works for them. We discuss everything - especially now that we're "retiring"
Cass Morrison that does seem reasonable. In my case, as the sole income earner, it only makes sense for my name to be on everything anyway. Rochelle's not the sort of person to rack up her own debt anyway. But, hypothetically, say she were to take out a loan for schooling (not even sure she could without my name on it, but let's assume she could), and then was later unable to make the payments, I would totally take it over if it meant a better interest rate or something. Obviously if there was no benefit to taking it over, then I'd just make the payments on it and leave it be. Mostly that's cuz I hate paperwork, and transferring it would mean we'd have to fill out forms. I hate forms more than just about anything. Which is weird considering my job involves a huge amount of paperwork.
ReplyDeleteIn the early 2000s, I realized I could not divorce the person responsible for my debt, because I was that person. So I got out from under about 10K dollars in debt. I may file for divorce from myself anyway — because my snoring keeps me awake.
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