Who hasn't had a crush and tried to remake themselves into something for someone else? Then regretted when they got what they wanted? Not everyone is, or should be, a potential romantic relationship.
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And it’s not just in cases where somebody turns out to be a bad person. About 23 years ago, I absolutely knew this particular young woman was perfect. I had to get her to fall for me. That would have made my life perfect! I was devastated when she unexpectedly moved away, leaving me longing for her for years, and wondering what each day would be like with her. Well, I recently came across a public radio audio stream interview with her — she’s an agriculture cooperative importer working toward reforms in the third world; a social justice entrepreneur. A wonderful life’s contribution, still a wonderful personality — but she’s a person now, no longer a magical deity to me. I’m glad I didn’t spend every day of the last 20-plus with her. I really learned from this. Idolizing isn’t loving.
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